Living Your Best Life: Do You Justify or Make Changes?

Published: February 19, 2011

Look at an unpleasant situation in your life. How do you view it? Are you a victim or is the situation a catalyst for change?

Accept What You Cannot Change

How you look at your life and life’s situations will dictate if you will receive more of the same or make changes for the better. Before delving into this topic, you must first understand that there are some things you cannot change. You cannot change where you were born, who your parents are and how tall or short you are.

The things you cannot change, you must learn to accept and make the best of it. You may wish you were the child of Bill and Melinda Gates or even Oprah Winfrey’s dog, but you’re not. Your parents are your parents, for better or worse.

Change What You Can Change

The only thing you have control over is yourself. You cannot change your spouse, your friends or your boss. Wasting your time trying to change them is an exercise in futility and frustration. Learn to accept them for what they are and the way they are.

If you don’t like the way your friends behave, maybe you’ve selected the wrong group of friends. If your boss is unreasonable, overly demanding and critical, it might be time to change jobs. Before you drop your friends, change jobs or even consider leaving your spouse, perform a self-evaluation.

Justifying vs. Changing Situations

When you find yourself in a situation that is less than optimal for you, do you justify the situation or make plans to change it? Justification comes in the form of making an excuse, explaining why the situation exists, blaming others for the situation or making yourself out to be a victim. Justifying a situation or problem does not get you out of it. It only makes the problem bigger. Making plans to change the situation is the only way to get out of it.

If you’re in a tough spot that cannot be changed overnight, as most situations are not quick fixes, sit down and create a plan. For example, if you’re in a dead-end job that pays the bills, but you wish to become an entrepreneur, start planning. Decide what it is you want to do, research the possibilities and create an action plan.

While you’re creating and implementing your game plan, learn everything you can about your current situation. Reflect upon the actions that lead up to your being in the dead-end job. Evaluate your physical actions and your own self-talk. The reason for the self-evaluation is so that you'll understand the critical choices you made that lead you to your unhappy situation. If you gain a good understanding of the choices you made which lead to your less than desirable predicament, you’ll learn to recognize pivotal, life-changing moments and make wiser choices at such crossroads.

Change Your Life: It’s Up to You

Too many times people like to play the blame game or paint themselves as a victim. There are many unfair situations in life. How we handle those unfair situations will make the difference between living an unfulfilled existence and living our dreams. The choice is yours. Will you justify your situation or change it?

About the Author: I am Felicia A. Williams, a wife, mom, grandma, writer and eternal student.

Last Modified: 2 December 2020